So Wired News has a story about the deluge of mail that has visted Saddam’s apparent email address. No, it isn’t “iluvtorture@hotmail.com,” but rather seems to be a default Iraqi government address that is stated to be the official mailbox of the Iraqi Presidency.

It looks like Saddam has got himself an army of armchair dictators all over the world who are all too willing to share their unique insight on how to defeat America.

On the afternoon of July 17, a self-proclaimed expert in biochemistry composed an e-mail message to Saddam Hussein. The message, sent from an MSN Hotmail account on a computer in China, recommended the use of methyl bromide, an agricultural pesticide, as an effective chemical weapon against the U.S . Army.

“For weapon use, have function: no color, no smell, will let person dead in a few second,” wrote the e-mail’s author, who provided the phone number and address of a distributor in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, from which the toxic chemical could be purchased “in cylinder or in can.”

And how does Wired News have the ciontents of Saddam’s inbox? Some l33t haX0r figured out that the login and password were the same 5 characters. I’m guessing it was “12345.” I also have it on good authority that this is the combination on Saddam’s luggage.

With so many people sending the guy advice, and me being the abject conformist that I am, I thought I’d join the party in offering some strategic counsel.

Dear Saddam, 

How’s it going? I hope those dissidents aren’t giving you too much trouble . I mean really, you gouge out their eyes and rip out their tongues and they still don’t stop getting all up in your face… what’s a dictator to do? You should be all like, “you best be steppin’ off, beotch, fo’ I gots to get even more medieval on yo’ ass.”

Anyway, what with all this ballyhoo about some kinda invasion by the US or something, I just wanted to say keep up the good work tweaking the West and pissing us all off. But hey, you know what would really cheese off that warmonger Bush? I hear he really hates it when brutal dictators shoot themselves in the head.

Strange, I know, but he’s a strange guy . He’s like, from Texas or somehting and they do things different down there I guess…

So yeah, I hear that every night before he goes to sleep he kneels down to pray and says, “Dear God, please watch over my family, my friends, and my nation; and Lord, in the name of all that’s holy, please, please don’t let Saddam Hussein place his testicles anywhere near a thresher, and please God, as your lowly servant I beg that you not allow Saddam to repeatedly dunk his head into a vat of acid. That would seriously bum me out, oh Heavenly Father.”

 

































































































































































































































































































































last update : 22-11-2017

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