From the M³ News Service

It was learned this Monday that France’s Seine river was swelling to dangerous levels, threatening a breach in the levees that could cause flooding in Paris, possibly wreaking billions in damage and costing dozens of lives .

“I call upon all my fellow Frenchmen to search their souls for any inadvertant transgressions which might have inflamed the Seine,” French President Jaques Chirac said in a televised statement late Monday afternoon . “When the rivers of France begin to lash out, we must ask ourselves the question, why do they hate us?”

The President went further, saying that he was authorizing immediate concessions to the territorial demands that the river Seine seemed to be making .

Some in the international community however, are baffled by France’s actions during this episode.

“What the hell are they doing? Why aren’t they sandbagging the damn thing?” asked Kirk Greenwold, a civil engineer from Louisiana.

But in response to reports of American opinion, the French president visibly scoffed. “That is pure simplisme,” he said. “Of course the American cowboys want to do everything by force, never realizing that diplomacy and engagement are always more intelligent courses of action. We are in very fruitful talks with the Seine’s representatives right now, and I am confident that the negotiations will be successful.”

The President then looked around at the floor, and asked, “Do your feet feel wet?”

last update : 19-4-2018

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