I’ve been blogging since July 2002, and in that time, I’ve had a few inter-blog arguments with the folks on the other side of the political spectrum… what are they called?

Oh right .


Well that’s not really true. People on a different side of the debate than I are not necessarily jerks, just wrong . However, several of the exchanges I have had have definately been with those you might describe as “challeneged” in the not-being-a-jerk department . Hesiod over at Counterspin Central is one such fellow. Not only with myself, but in his conversations with Den Beste, he revealed himself to be a seriously dishonest debater (that, or he was so stupid that it wouldn’t be safe for him to use grown-up scissors), but nevertheless, even though he really didn’t deserve it, I tried to present my ideas in an honest and truthful way, and not be seriously offensive, even when he acted in ways that blatantly called for some rhetorical bitch-slapping.

I figured that was the way to go. But then I read this .

Shiite Muslim clerics in Lebanon and Iran have reacted with rage at the Rev. Jerry Falwell for calling Islam’s prophet a terrorist and an envoy of Iran’s supreme leader reportedly called for his death .Iranian cleric Mohsen Mojtahed Shabestari, addressing weekly Friday prayers in the northwestern town of Tabriz, said Falwell was a “mercenary and must be killed,” the Farsi-language daily Abrar reported Saturday.

“The death of that man is a religious duty, but his case should not be tied to the Christian community,” Shabestari, a representative of Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, was quoted as saying .


It seems the Muslim version of a slander suit is cutting off your head. Now when I read this I was shocked, just shocked that I hadn’t thought of it first!

I mean come on, when you’re arguing with someone who’s just going to call you a Nazi when you spend 2,000 words making a careful, precise argument, what point is there in engaging them verbally anymore?

Now at this point, most people would just say, “let it go, and move on.”

Well I’m far far far too petty a person to do that.

So I hereby declare myself Ayatollah Mustardah of Blogistan . From this day forward, I will call down, on any Idiotarian jerkwad I encounter, an order for them to be beheaded with extreme prejudice until the the point at which they are dead (or to have their genitalia eviscerated by a rabid Rosie O’Donnell who has been deprived of food for at least 6 hours – sounds like an unusually cruel thing to do, I know, but I’m sure she can last 6 hours) . I make this declaration keeping in mind that this does not imply a judgement on the Idiotarian faith at large, since many of them are peaceful, albeit intellectually stunted, people.

My sentences, thus decreed, will be subsequently carried out by my elite brigade of Beheading Gnomes, whom I made up just now. Admittedly they do face significant challenges in carrying out their duties due to their imaginary nature, but they make up for any lack of actual existence with pure unadulterated enthusiasm.

It is time for a new day to dawn in the Blogosphere, my gnome brothers. A glorious day. A day when no longer will we be harried by idiots who have full compliments of heads and genitals! With the ranks of my imaginary gnomes rallied, nothing may stand in our way!

last update : 19-4-2018

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