Clinton you nitwit.


In an exclusive interview Thursday on CNN’s “Larry King Live,” the former president said he sees a good possibility that the international community will unite to force Iraqi President Saddam Hussein to disarm. 

“I still hope the United Nations can act together on this, and I still think there’s a chance we can, and there’s still a chance that Saddam Hussein will come to his senses and disarm,” Clinton said.


No there isn’t, you blubbering bubba. First of all, assuming that anything remotely approaching sense still lingers in his addled mind of latter-day Saladin fantasies, both Bush (for all his necesarry rhetoric about disarming) and Saddam have both made quite sure that disarmament isn’t really an option.

Saddam has painted himself thoroughly into a corner on this one. He has steadfastly maintained that he has none of the weapons that the US has been accusing him of having. Any admissions now will only be more proof of a “material breach,” and thus invite an American attack. He can also continue to dodge and lie, which also would reveal him to be a material (breach) girl (thanks, Lileks) .

At this point, he be breached if he do and breached if he don’t.

Now, one might say that since Powell’s speech already made it quite clear to everyone of basically the same facts that would be revealed were Saddam to make real strides towards disarmament, and that since Powell’s revelations were only greeted by calls for more inspections by the United Nations Idiot Caucus, Saddam coming clean now would only offer more rhetorical ammo to the anti-war robots in the UN, those broken records that respond to any argument for military action with, “War! Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!” while they flail their arms mechanically.

But I don’t think so.

First of all, I don’t think it’s very likely that at this point the Bush administration would say “Ok, he’s disarmed. No harm, no foul.” At least they’d better damned well not.

What I think is more likely is that any admissions Saddam were to make would only give more Bush more to point to and prove how dangerous Saddam is. Not that it would convince any of the Weasels, but would give us enough plausible deniability to start the war, all to the outraged howls of France, Germany, Russia, Greenpeace, whoever.

After the war is (quickly) over however, everything will change, and everyone with any sense knows that . It will be revealed how truly awful Saddam was, how glad the Iraqi people are to be rid of him, how dangerous a figure he was to the Middle East and the rest of the world, and the biggest diplomatic problem we’ll have at that point regarding the invasion will be making sure we don’t let France rewrite history and say that they were actually with us “the whole way, mes amis!”

I see another (what I consider) less likely scenario, though. Bush doesn’t use the revelations made by Saddam as justification to kick the tires and light the fires, but instead floats some resolution about the need for some kind of new inspections regime that will make sure that Saddam told us everything, because, golly, he’s lied so many times in the past, we can’t just trust him now to come clean without some final verification, can we? I mean, he lied for all this time and only came clean (or so he says!) now when there was a shotgun against his face a few seconds from having its trgger pulled. What do you think he’ll do when we take that gun away, huh, Jaques?

That verification will take the form of some US military units, who will ostensibly be there in order to aid some kind of final inspection process.

In short: WMDs gone. Saddam humbled on the world stage. US military around Iraq en masse and within Iraq at least to some extent…

What the name of this song?

Oh, right . “Revolution.”

Again, were we to help facilitate this auto-regime change, there would surely be sputtering howls of outrage from every one of the “sophisticated” nations of the world. And from people in my co-op, to be sure.

But the revolution would be quick (not quick enough, for my tastes, though; I’ll have to keep my head down and hold my tongue for a few days if I want to have any friends left later on), and those voices will also be cowed once it’s over and “The Rise and Fall of the Baath Party” hits the best seller lists and reveals criticisms of the US’ catalystic behavior to be silly and morally repugnant in the face of what Saddam truly was.

The folks at Berkeley, meanwhile, will likely go back to reading Chomsky and accusing Bush of genocide, but hey, that’s what they do. Let ’em have their fun. It’s a real hoot to actually talk to them and make them feel supremely stupid for a while until they flee and dive back into Big Brother Noam’s books that reassure them about how the US really is a fascist police state.

However, regarding either of these scenarios (which happen to still be warm from when I pulled them out of my ass) are predicated on the possibility that Saddam would ever even consider the route of actually making efforts to voluntarily disarm, which is madness on the level of certifiability if I ever saw it.

Maybe Clinton knows this . Maybe he just wanted to go on TV and sound grave and concerned and remind everyone that “Hey folks, look at me! I’m still here. Remember the good old days when the country’s biggest worry was my dick? Weren’t you happier then when you didn’t have to think about all this stuff going on in other countries? ‘It’s the economy, stupid’!”

Hell, I dunno what he was doing. People continually maintain that Clinton is such a dagburned smart guy. I was never very convinced he wasn’t that much more than a slick talker who could charm the pants off an eskimo, someone who could hit all the necessary talking points and throw out all the right buzz words to make a pose of erudition. I suspect it’s a quality not unlike this that makes him such a devil with the ladies.

Pretend to listen to what she says and nod thoughtfully. Throw out some lines about how you admire some woman whose name you heard on Lifetime for her “courage” to do whatever it is she did in this “male-dominated society.” Talk about how how you find that women make better friends because they’re so open with their emotions and shit. Pretty soon, you’ll be staining her dress .

Anyway, forget Clinton. The real point of this post is thus: whether war comes is not up to Saddam. In the present situation, he really doesn’t have any choices. He’s not an entity that can respond in any meaningful way. He’s a cockroach, an infestation that is either to be tolerated or stepped on, but not debated, and not engaged. You don’t try to convince the little six-legged bugger to just go peacefully out the door. You put your foot down and then wipe him off the sole of your shoe.

And frankly, Bush doesn’t look to me like the kind of guy who gets squeamish at the prospect of a little bug guts.

last update : 23-5-2018

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