R . Kelly Arrested In Miami For Possession Of Child Pornography

From now on, news organizations should just start reporting on celebrities that turn out to not be pedophiles .


Soupy Sales was honored today with a Non-Perversion award by the National Association for Avoidance of Celebrity Perversion (”The other NAACP!”) for his tireless life’s work in not having sex with children, not possessing material depicting sex with children, and not lusting after children in any discernible way. 

The beloved TV comedian accepted the “Normy” award, saying, “Thank you very much for this great honor . I’m only trying to do my part by not buggering any little kids. Some might call me a hero, but really I’m just a man. A man that doesn’t rape children.”

In other news, Woody Harrelson had to return the Normy he recieved last year to the NAACP earlier this week, when it was revealed that he had in fact had sex with several children. When asked why, as he was filling out the Normy Award request form he answered “no” to the question, “Have you ever had sex with children?”, Harrelson claimed that he thought Thailand didn’t count.


last update : 23-5-2018

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