Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.

I’ve decided the Blogsphere is like a soap-opera. Now, I admit, it’s got a lot more melodrama and a lot less pillow talk (hint hint), but krikey! Spend one day studying and writing papers, just one day or so when you’re not scouring the fertile fields of Blogitania and suddenly you’re the awkward clueless guy standing in the corner who doesn’t know any of the cool lingo or who the girls are that put out on the first date. I’m in highschool all over again!

So. It being firmly established that I have no idea about the latest memes that all the cool kids are bandying about, I’ll just be over at the weekly meeting of the Audio-Visual Club if anyone wants me. The club is just me and that foreign exchange student with the lazy eye patch and the B.O. problems… . oh wait, no, that’s right… he was invited to some party at the head cheerleader’s house. So I guess it’ll just be me… unless you want to come, of course! We’re going to be cleaning the projectors!

I’m afraid my day-long sabbatical has left me unprepared to dispense pith and knowing commentary on the events and issues of the day, so let me just go through a shallow rundown of the horses that have already been thoroughly pummeled long after their deaths:



  • Dammit Trent, how many times have I told you, Senate majority leaders are meant to be seen, not heard! That’s why we have the whistle.
  • UN inspectors continue their dance with futility. Just recently they did a surprise inspection of a presidential palace, after calling ahead to make reservations first, of course. It’s just good manners .
  • France, I really admire how you keep setting the bar higher and higher each week in finding new ways to suck ass, but really, did you have to turn that sick little bird’s twisted literary pile of shit, “A Dream of Palestine,” into the highest national seller since that book that said Spetember 11th was actually a CIA plot and a plane never really crashed into the Pentagon?
  • The Middle East… still a buncha wacky bananers there. What’s up with that?
  • Berkeley: not yet a smoking radioactive crater. What does a guy have to do to get a city nuked these days?
  • Dogs are still man’s best friend. Cats are still evil and will eat you when you die.


Maybe the worst part about diving back into the Blogpool is the fact that there are so many good entries from good authors which I will have to basically write off and admit to myself that I won’t ever read. Catch up on those, no time to write, get more behind, etc and so on. The vicious circle of Blogdom.

The only solution-


OK, the better solution: cut your losses, mourn the edification that never was, and just accept that there will always be a blank spot in your blog memory, like a drunk’s lost weekend, except in this case you don’t wake up in a pool of what you hope at least is your own vomit, married to Marla the middle-aged hooker and with a newly signed binding 3-year stint in the merchant marine .

So I hope you can forgive if I go over something that is like, sooo yesterday, man. I don’t like playing catch-up. I choose instead to play Charge Blindly Forward.

Well, that or Jenga.

last update : 26-5-2018

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