Football was never my thing. Especially college football. Doubly especially the rah-rah enthusiasm that is supposed to go along with it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not of that elitist intellectual stripe that derides it all as either thinly veiled homosexuality or a testosterone-laced urge towards fascism and rape that is channeled onto the football field. I just find that I can’t be bothered to sit still and watch the thing for 4 hours straight . One of the reasons for this is that football is one of the slowest games we have in America today.

Remember that Simpsons where Marge gets Homer to promise that he won’t drink for a month, just to prove that he’s not an alcoholic? Well, Homer’s new-found sobriety makes him see quite a few things in a different light, and one of the best moments is at a baseball game. He’s in the stands, calmly focused on the game, while everyone around him is sipping a beer every 10 seconds or so. He silently watches while Harry Shearer does his best announcer voice.

Announcer: The windup and the 2-2 pitch. .. and now there’s a beach ball on the field, and the ball boys are discussing which of them is going to go and get it…

Homer: I never realized how boring this game is.

Yeah, well football is like that, times about 30 or so .

And of course, my general ennui concerning college football was never helped by the fact that the good old Berkeley home team could usually be roundly trounced in a game with the League of Women Voters. They’re that bad.

…the Cal Bears, not the League . I have never seen the LWV play football before, but they couldn’t perform worse than the Bears usually manage to do.

So you can imagien my shock when I just flipped on the TV for a sec out of pure curiosity today to see how we’re faring in “the big game” against Stanford and saw the score: 23-7, with Cal leading.

Who woulda thunk it.

In other news, Hell is a chilly 31 degrees today and there have been reports of pig-like creatures taking flight all over the country.

Strange times, indeed.

last update : 26-5-2018

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