So basically, for teh last two weeks I’ve been having the weirdest series of sequnetial symptoms… sore throats, rashes, oral bacterial ugliness, general body soreness, tiredness, fevers, rapidly fluctuating temperatures, night sweats… the whole magilla.

For a while I thought I was dying. Then I thought it was a voodoo curse. Then dying again . Then, I had an inkling that there was an evil little leprechaun sprinkling unhappiness dust into my morning cereal.

But then I found a textbook entry detailing a wicked, malevolent little something whose symptoms include just about every one of my current woes.

“Voodoo curse.”

Hmmm, how about that.

It was then pointed out to me that someone had crossed out the real disease and written in the curse part in crayon. Yeah, that guy was a total jerk.

Anyway, it seems like what I have is Mononucleosis, sometimes called “the kissing disease.”

I dunno know why they call it that. Oh sure, I know it’s because it gets transmitted through saliva, but I still think a better name would be “the goddamn piece of shit that makes you curl up and die while you lie motionless on your bed all friggin’ day unable to do anything besides think how much it sucks to have to lie on your bed all day. … Motherfucker!”

Yeah, that’s what they should call it. Feel free to acronymize that, if you wish.

Anyway, there is a small upside to this bothersome ordeal that is likely just beginning (I had a friend who only had it for 2 weeks, but it apparently can last YEARS), and that is I have a ready-made excuse for any scanty blogging I happen to do for the next few months.

From now on, if anyone gives a shout-out and asks, “Hey Russ, how come y’all ain’t bloggin’ so much no mo’?” I can just say “Talk to the mono, baby!”

Silver lining in everything, silver lining in everything, silver lining in everything….

Of course, it must be stipulated that I am not yet completely sure about this nasty bug o’ mine, and will not know until I get tested by a doctor sometime this week, but at this point the wind is certainly blowing in the Mono direction .

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

last update : 23-5-2018

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