Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe today, responding to criticisms about his projections of the recent midterm elections, said that the overwhelming Republican victories were “all part of the plan,” and that the Democratic Party was using what the DNC chairman dismissed as an “unimportant election cycle” to “lull the Republicans into a false sense of security before we spring the trap .

Mr. McAuliffe stressed that the Republicans, in winning the vast majority of senatorial and gubernatorial elections, and thus taking back the Senate, had “played right into our hands. Boy are they gonna be red in the face when we turn this thing around on them in ’04 with our secret weapon!”

When asked exactly how the party would do this, and furthermore what the vaguely alluded to “secret weapon” consisted of, McAuliffe shuffled with his notes for a while and cleared his throat repeatedly, asking his assistant if he thought it suddenly had got “hot in here, or is it just me?”

The Chairman then responded that he had left the details of the secret weapon in his other pants, but that it was “very secret, and is like, gonna really really stick it to those Republican bastards. I mean come on, you wouldn’t honestly think that I was just making stuff up in the face of certain defeat, would you?” he asked, laughing nervously.

He then asked the waitress for more water.

last update : 23-5-2018

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